


Achilles

by TheHoardingPuffin



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: (by that I mean I think canon is crappy in dealing with Jason's trauma), Caring Dick Grayson, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Good Sibling Dick Grayson, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd has Panic Attacks, Jason Todd is Not Okay, Jason Todd-centric, Podfic Welcome, Sleep-deprived Jason Todd, Titans Season 2 Episode 5 Aftermath, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28554477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHoardingPuffin/pseuds/TheHoardingPuffin
Summary: Jason couldn’t look out of a window without falling. Consciously, he knew that outside his window was sunlight and an objectively nice view, not the green and yellow flickering of windows flying past him, but that didn’t change the fact he was seeing it. Even if he closed his eyes.Jason is NOT okay after almost dying, and Dick is being a good big brother and takes care of him.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Jason Todd
Comments: 8
Kudos: 150





	Achilles

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> Apparently I am writing "Titans" stuff now. Didn't expect that - HOWEVER, I am mad at how "Titans" dealt with Jason's trauma after falling, I think it wasn't done well, and I was SEVERELY missing the good, good Dick Grayson brotherly interactions with Jason in connection to the whole matter. Like, I get that Dick was going through shit, but c'mon, he didn't even... he... HE BARELY TALKED TO JASON UNTIL THE BOY WAS ON A KRIFFING LEDGE OF A BUILDING READY TO CHUCK HIMSELF DOWN WHAT THE HELL?!?!?  
> Sorry. Yeah, I am mad about that whole thing. So I wrote a thing to make it better.  
> I hope you like it - comments and kudos are always well-appreciated and food for the heart and soul.  
> Loads of love!  
> Lotta

There was an injured (possibly fatally so) man in the infirmary, the air was practically prickling with nervous energy from everyone and Jason couldn’t look out of a window without falling.

Consciously, he knew that outside his window was sunlight and an objectively nice view, not the green and yellow flickering of windows flying past him, but that didn’t change the fact he was seeing it. Every. Goddamn. Time. He looked out of the window. Or in the mirror. Or the ceiling above his bed. A glass of water. A blank wall. Even if he closed his eyes, he saw it, felt the cold wind and the pain in his throat from screaming.

It was worse when he slept, so he avoided it as much as he could. Slept less than maybe four hours at a time, because he couldn’t go longer until he woke up, eyes burning, sight blurred from tears, his whole body trembling.

He was falling, no matter what.

No matter whether he was awake or asleep, sitting or standing.

The alarm clock blinked neon green. 03:38:12.

03:38:13.

03:38:14.

Jason rolled from his side to his back and stared at the ceiling, trying to tell himself that there were no lights, no buildings, nothing of the sort, flying past him as he looked up.

It didn’t work.

Jason rolled out of bed and crept out of his room and over to the training room. He didn’t expect anyone there at this time, and any sound from there should be relatively muffled in the rest of the tower.

Jason was cold, and his hands were trembling.

The matts under his feet were rough and cold, and the punching bag was swinging slowly back and forth.

Jason fell into a loose stance, raised his fists and started punching and kicking, until he couldn’t feel himself trembling anymore, until he could see only the training hall, nothing else, until there were no green and yellow lights flickering at the edges of his vision.

He didn’t stop there. He went on harder.

It was too wonderful to finally see his surroundings without the flickering lights, he didn’t want to see them again, and if this was a way for him to stop seeing them, so be it, he’d keep going.

He didn’t hear the door, or the steps behind him, didn’t even sense anything to be amiss until he was grabbed from behind, until strong arms wrapped around his torso and made sure Jason stopped punching forward, because they were pinned down –

Jason collapsed against the person holding him, and his sight was all blurry again, his eyes burned, breathing was somehow… not…

“Shhht… shhht…” The person holding him pulled him closer, resting their chin on his head, rubbing one hand up and down Jason’s arm. “Shhht… you’re okay, you’re okay, shhht…”

Jason choked and coughed violently, gasping for air, there were tears dropping down his chin, his lip was hurting, why was it hurting –

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay… all okay… “

Dick. The person holding him was Dick. Now Jason could recognize his voice. Dick – the first Robin – safe? Dick was safe, right? For a second, Jason saw Dick’s face contorted in a scream, laying on his stomach, arm still stretched out, eyes gleaming with tears, and then the flickering lights again.

“You’re okay…”

Carefully, Dick moved Jason around, until the teenager wasn’t with his back to the older Robin’s chest, but chest to chest instead, and Jason immediately buried his face in Dick’s shoulder, arms wrapping around Dick’s torso and shaking hands grabbing onto his shirt.

Dick’s hand was drawing circles on Jason’s back, and the other hand was in Jason’s hair, the thumb also making small movements against Jason’s scalp, and the lights and building disappeared again.

“You’re okay, Jason.”

Jason wasn’t okay. He was panicking, crying, clutching onto Dick as if he was a gibbon monkey, and barely getting a breath in between sobs.

Dick didn’t move from the spot on the floor mats, he was just sitting there, holding Jason and letting the younger Robin cry until the tears subsided and the boy slowly peeled back.

“Hey.” Dick was still loosely holding onto Jason, looking at him with warm brown eyes full of concern. “Hey, breathe.”

Jason did – and hiccupped. It was an entirely undignified high-pitched sound and Dick bit his lip as if he had to suppress a laugh. But he didn’t laugh, he just kept holding onto Jason, slowly walking him through breathing exercises in a low voice until the hiccups stopped and Jason could breathe normally – mostly anyways.

“Talk to me?”, Dick asked, and Jason sighed, leaning against his chest exhaustedly.

“I keep falling”, he whispered. “I’m falling and falling and falling and… and I can’t stop it!”

Dick squeezed his shoulder gently and hummed softly, but didn’t speak.

“I am… I… I can’t look out the window anymore.”

A hand ran through his hair, then rested on his neck.

“I can’t… look… I keep seeing the windows. The… lights, and… I can’t see anything else.”

Another squeeze against his shoulder, another soft hum.

“I can’t sleep, Dick. I am just… I am _falling_!”

“You’re not falling.” Dick rested his chin on Jason’s head again. “You’re not falling, Jason, I promise.”

“I know that. Still. I… everytime I try to… to look out the window, or, in a mirror… or when I sleep…”

Dick’s hand travelled down from Jason’s shoulder to his hand and gently stopped him from scratching at his other hand – a nervous habit of Jason’s. Sometimes when he was really stressed he scratched his arms red and sore.

“Stop that”, he told him softly. “Shhht, you’re okay, Jason, you’re not falling.”

A singular sob escaped Jason’s chest.

“We’ll get through this, buddy. I promise.”

“What… what if we can’t?” Jason gulped. “I can’t, like, go to a therapist, right?”

“Maybe you can. Or you can talk to us. Any of us.”

“They hate me.”

“They don’t hate you.”

“They do, though.” Jason sighed. “I can’t do anything right. Not by Bruce, not by… any of them, not by…”

“Me?”

“Hmm.”

Dick held him a bit closer. “I’m sorry, Jason. That’s my fault, okay, not yours.”

“It’s me, I know it.” Jason sniffed. “I… wherever I go, I ruin things…”

“That’s bullshit. I promise, this is not on you. Okay?”

Jason didn’t answer.

“Can you say it?” Dick’s thumb was drawing patterns onto Jason’s hand. “Say _It’s not my fault_.”

Jason sighed. “It’s… not my fault.”

Dick chuckled lowly. “Can you say it again, but like you believe it?”

Jason contemplated giving Dick a stink-eye, but that would have required for him to move and twist to look at the older Robin and he was too comfortable for that at the moment.

“C’mon, say it.”

“It’s not my fault.”

“Better.”

Jason sighed and nestled closer into Dick’s arms. “I… I don’t know if I can go on. If I keep seeing the… the windows. If I keep falling.”

“You can. We will help you. _I_ will help you.”

“If you can.”

“I can, and I will.” Another chuckle. “We’re brothers now, right? That’s what family does. Help each other.”

“S’ppose so.” Jason sighed. He was starting to feel tired, his limbs heavy like lead. “Don’t really know much ‘bout family.”

“Bruce isn’t the best at feelings, huh?”

“Me neither though.”

Dick sighed. “Me neither I fear. We can make it work.”

Jason sighed again. “Maybe.”

“For sure.”

He was feeling heavy and tired, and Dick was like a warm, sturdy wall keeping him safe, and he wanted… he wanted nothing more… than…

“’m t’red…”

“Okay. Up you get.”

Without hesitation, Dick wrapped one arm around Jason’s back and the other under his knees, and picked him up, not without a small “Ooof” sound, and started carrying him… not to his own room, but to Dick’s room.

With a small huff, he let Jason down onto the bed, then disappeared into the bathroom just to come back with a small first aid kit. He helped Jason settle down against the headboard of the bed, then opened the kit and started cleaning the small wounds on Jason’s knuckles. Huh. Jason hadn’t even noticed those. Testament to how out of it he was.

Dick took his time cleaning the cuts with disinfectant wipes, then wrapping them in gauze.

“Those hurt like hell, don’t they?”, he asked, tying the gauze into a knot.

“Don’t really… feel… it…”

“You will in the morning when they bruise.” Dick closed the kit and put it on the ground, then gently shoved Jason against the shoulder. “Move. Lay down.”

Jason complied, and when Dick crawled into bed, drawing the blanket over them both, Jason cuddled close without a second thought. He was, by now, too tired to care, and Dick was warm and felt safe, and Jason wasn’t seeing buildings fly by, so that was good news.

“G’night, Jason.”


End file.
